30 Days of Thankfulness
Day 5: Religious Freedom and Volunteers
I am always thankful that I live in a country where I can choose what I believe and gather and worship God openly.
And having a child with autism adds another layer of thankfulness.
Not every church has enough of a volunteer base to support kids with special needs. So we are extra grateful when we find one with a program in place.
I am beyond grateful for our church and for the volunteers…plural…that show up every Sunday to care for my son and teach him that he is loved and infinitely valued.
They welcome him with open arms, let him take his shoes off and do snow angels on the shag carpet, and have smiles on their faces when we pick him up, sharing stories about what he built, what he drew.
Because they are willing to volunteer their time and talents, my husband and I get to attend church in person. It is something we will never take for granted.
What freedom are you thankful for?
What volunteers have made a difference in your life or the lives of those you care about?
30 Days of Thankfulness
Day 6: Jenga Knockoff
Five Below sells a Jenga knockoff for $5.
This has been a life saver for parents of a kid who loves to build.
With anything he gets his hands on.
Even envelopes.
And paper towels.
Magnatiles are over $1 a tile and a series of circumstances on a family vacation resulted in Ray being cornered into buying a name brand Jenga for $25.
Things were getting out of hand.
Being able to supply my creative genius with 48 blocks for $5 is priceless.
Because once he creates a house on the map in his mind, it does not come down. It is part of the permanent collection, joined by neighboring houses that replace his drawn out paper plan as soon as we buy him more…
knockoff Jenga blocks.
What discount item are you most thankful for?
30 Days of Thankfulness
Day 7: Beauty in Unexpected Places
This year I was a little too involved in local politics. Decisions were being made in our school district that would directly affect my son, special needs education, FAPE (free and appropriate education), commutes. Locations for attending schools would be changing and traffic would be increasing.
Needless to say, things got heated at the board meetings. Everyone wanted what was best for their kids, but were divided on what it looked like.
I watched the live feed of several board meetings that lasted past 10pm. Many times I signed off because Caleb started pulling on my arm saying, “Bye bye, YouTube! Mommy!”
It was a frustrating situation for everyone, but what I loved was seeing people take the time to inform themselves and inform others. There were troops of people who pored over hours and hours of taped meetings, researched educational laws, spoke with the mayor, waited for hours in meetings so they could make their statements.
Regardless of whether I agreed with the statements or delivery, I was impressed at the effort people put in and what they were willing to endure to make sure their voices were heard.
And the effort people put in to give a voice to people who were afraid to speak up.
Even the students came to the meetings with their own statements to read to the board.
Then there was the incredible patience of those on the board who straddled getting through their agenda and listening to concerned citizens, often staying in these meetings past midnight.
So amidst the stormy chaos, there was beauty.
Because no matter what side people were on, no matter what role they played, everyone in attendance was fighting against ignorance and apathy.
Today I am thankful for the whole voting process. For those who educate themselves and cast their vote and those willing to step into highly demanding positions, some of them volunteer, because they want to make a difference.
What good do you see in the political landscape that you are thankful for?
30 Days of Thankfulness
Day 8: Thanksgiving for Christmas
In our house we have a rule that Christmas decorations go up after Thanksgiving. So for months Caleb has been saying “Bye bye pumpkins, hello Christmas decorations November 25!”
But it is hard when, to the outside world, Christmas started November 1st.
So when we stopped at Five Below yesterday to stock up on knockoff Jenga blocks, this happened…
My son, who still struggles with speech, let out a joyful, perfectly enunciated “Christmas decorations!” as soon as we entered the store. Then he saw the Santa hats and his face lit up like the Christmas tree he has been begging me to put up.
He wore his new hat as we went next door to Michaels and somehow I ended up buying him his own 4 foot tree and a glitter house ornament. I was, yet again, sucked in by the tractor beam of holiday marketing.
This is what happens when my level-headed husband stays home.
But while he remains the one that ensures holidays are celebrated in the right order, I live in the loophole of being thankful for Christmas.
What special occasion are you most thankful for (and maybe tempted to draw out as long as possible)?
30 Days of Thankfulness
Day 9: Season 2 Episode 13 of Schitt’s Creek and Kimchi Soondubu
On days where I feel like a washed out, diluted human being with myriad symtpoms of illness, I am so thankful for these go-tos.
When it is hard to put my own sentences together with any kind of meaning, Daniel Levy’s writing is my brain’s favorite comfort food. This episode is my favorite—written so well and the turning point of the series. It is a laugh/cry episode. (Am I the only one that repeatedly rewinds the dinner scene?)
And this Korean soup reverses the course of cold chills and congestion unlike anything I have ever eaten.
What are your go-to comforts when you are under the weather or feeling blah?
30 Days of Thankfulness
Day 10: Critique Partners
Farmers in the midwest used to tie a rope from their back door to their barn. When a blizzard came and visibility was nil, they used the rope to guide them through the storm so they could feed their animals.
Writing is like walking through a blizzard. If you sit and wait for it to pass so you can see clearly, you will never get anywhere. All you can do is take a step forward. And then another. Some will be missteps, you might fall along the way, and eat lots of chocolate, but forward movement is the only way to find the correct course.
And how do you keep from wandering too far away and succumbing to the ice and snow of mixed metaphors and tired cliches?
Critique partners.
They are the rope in the storm making sure that, eventually, you get where you are trying to go–and that you don’t lose hope and panic along the way.
So a big thank you today for my CPs–Kristy, Victoria, Diane, Nelly, Hui, and Cuyler–for inspiring and supporting me when I face the blinding white of the blank page.
Whose advice are you thankful for today?
30 Days of Thankfulness
Day 11: My Son’s Behaviorist
For those of you unfamiliar with the world of special education, a behaviorist is someone who specializes in child behavior who provides support for students, teachers, and parents.
So far this year, we have leaned heavily on ours.
Recently my son’s contrary behavior has escalated. If you don’t know him, it can be seen as downright rude. So I have been getting notes from school that activate my momma bear and deep empathy for his teacher at the same time.
I know in these moments I need to apply liberal amounts of grace–for myself, my son, and the people who work with him. I wish it was that easy.
But I feel responsible, like there is something I am missing, failing to do. Some way I can control his behavior and make his experience and other people’s experience with him consistently pleasant.
The best way I can describe trying to discipline a child with autism is spending hours untangling that mass of Christmas lights you pull out of storage only to plug them in and find the lights are unresponsive. And on a series circuit. And the bulbs have been discontinued.
His behaviorist has shown up each time I reached this pinnacle of anxiety and frustration.
To remind me not to take it personally.
That it is not my fault.
That it is not bad parenting.
That my son does not have ill intent.
But also that he is making his own choices, which nobody can control.
Then she gives me simple action points–ways I could support my son and his teacher. Which converts all that negative energy toward something productive.
I am so grateful I have someone who advocates for my son and breaks things down into manageable pieces. It can mean the difference between completely shutting down and seeing my way through the mess.
Who in your life shows you grace and makes things more manageable?