In Autism Breakthrough, Raun K. Kaufman comments that many parents and speech therapists will try to provide language to nonverbal kids by constantly narrating when they interact with them.
“What’s the problem with narrating? When you do this, you take up all the verbal space. When you take up the verbal space, there is no room for your child to speak.” (Autism Breakthrough, pg 110).
Balance is key.
For 2020, when I was essentially homeschooling my son, I noticed he was unable to answer comprehension questions, so I would read the book again, narrate the scene, do picture walks. It was a lot of me pointing and talking.
Then I learned that my son was a gestalt language learner and my efforts may have filled his mind with words that had no real meaning to him, making it that much harder for him to make sense of them and communicate.
Once I backed off and listened, I heard him speak in chunks that actually were meaningful and on topic. We would read Pete the Cat Construction Destruction and when we got to the part where the playground collapsed, he would say, “Big hole, digger!”— what he says when we drive and see houses under construction.
It took me creating silent space to be able to hear and appreciate an intelligent connection he was making.
I don’t know about you, but I need this reminder for my prayer life as well. More often than not, I am going to God with a list of people and outcomes I desire for them. Although I pray to be aligned with God’s will as I intercede for people, I very rarely sit and listen for His response.
So, twice every day, I have been challenging myself to sit and set a three minute timer to just be with God and listen. It astonishes me that six minutes of focusing on Him is so difficult. It also astonishes me that six minutes with Him is long enough to be life-giving and set the rudder of my day in the right direction. It brings a depth of peace I cannot attain any other way.
Lord, continue to help me communicate with my son and provide the space he needs to express himself. Thank You for meeting me in quiet spaces and helping me to recognize Your still, small voice that silences my negative thoughts and fills me with hope. Amen.