At around 10pm on Thursday night, my eight-year-old son turned to me and said, “Feeling sick Friday. Stay home.” (He showed no signs of illness.)
For a few reasons, I had to pick my jaw off the floor.
First, my son, who has limited communication skills and struggles with social interactions, was Ferris Buellering me.
Second, my son has NEVER voluntarily used the word “feeling”. Whenever I try to talk about feelings he says, “Bye bye feelings!! NOOO feelings!” For years we have had to resort to using awkward synonyms (what is your emoji today?) and drawing empty faces and casually sliding the paper over to him, hoping he will fill it out the eyes and mouth with an appropriate expression, revealing the inner workings of his mysterious mind.
So this was serious.
Third, he has NEVER put this particular string of words together. It was further evidence of mitigation in his gestalt language learning.
So inside I was celebrating this as a huge milestone. In my euphoric desire to encourage his clear communication, I almost caved and let him stay home.
What pushed me even closer to caving was the fact that I was also flying solo and in the middle of a very painful ulcerative colitis flare. Standing was difficult, so wrestling a kid who does not want to go to school would push the needle toward impossible. It would be easier to just let him stay home, but that would also prevent me from being able to rest.
And it would lead to a VERY dangerous kid equation: Crying + Saying I am Sick= Staying Home.
So I prayed. Now, I am a person who prays, but honestly, I tend to strive first. But that night, striving only got me to the base of the mountain and prayer was all I had. I prayed for healing, for relief from the pain I was experiencing, so I could take care of my son. I prayed for wisdom and strength.
After praying, I still had no idea how the next day would work out. But, having prayed, I at least had peace in the uncertainty and was able to sleep.
My son’s first groggy words were: “No school, feeling sick.”
And there were tears.
Welp!
So I told him, “Okay, but if you are home sick, no driving because we will be home resting. And you have to wait to open the toys coming on Saturday.”
He took one look at me, got up, did his whole routine and was ready for school without one more word about being sick. (When I picked him up later, his teachers said he had a fantastic day. He was totally Ferris Buellering me.)
Throughout the morning I was slowly realizing that the pain I had been experiencing for two weeks was gone. Instead of needing to curl up and sleep, I was suddenly able to work through my to-do list for the first time in days.
God moved a mountain for this tired mama right when I needed it most. He gave me rest and restored my soul. I got to experience progress with my kid, victory in getting him to school and preventing bad habits from forming, and a pain-free day, and it all started with me having no fuel to strive and going to God in prayer.
Lord, sometimes I face mountains, pray, and still go through the difficulties. And You are there with me, encouraging me as I find the footholds to climb. And sometimes, like today, You simply move the mountain out of the way. I want to stick a flag in this moment, at the height of my relief and gratitude, as I experience Your power, grace, and mercy all at once. Help me to hold onto these moments and Your promises so I remember to stop striving so hard and just go to You. You wait with open arms and everything I need. Thank You for an amazing day. Amen.